I have so many things going on in my head and so many things that I want to post about. I’m not sure where to start and I also find that they will take so much explaining! By the time I get darling daughter to sleep (another fun issue that popped up once this separation took place) I am exhausted and ready for bed myself!
For now I thought I’d pick my latest reading material. I am just about to finish The five love languages. I’m familiar with the test and a short version of each of the five languages but I’ve never gone into anything in depth about them. Its been a good read. I actually want to go back through it and make notes. I have found so many useful tips and suggestions. I feel like they could make a huge difference. I’m also listening to the audio book called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Now this guy knows his shit. I’m only on chapter 3 and I have to be honest I actually stopped listening to it for a while because I’m stuck in limbo about what I actually want anymore. But from what I’ve heard so far, it pointed out glaring mistakes we were making and I was just starting on some of the suggestions made there. I think I’m going to get back into listening to it.
I may not be 100% sure about what I want or what the right decision is to make for the future but I do know that I want to find out how I can be a better wife – even if I never get to be a wife again.
I’m scared about what the future hold for me. I’m scared of what happens if I hold on or even decide to continue with the marriage (if that becomes an option). I’m scared of what happens if I decide to leave and end it for good. Its just all too overwhelming…