Its more than 18 months since I last posted on here. So much has happened in that time and it feels like I’ve almost come full circle. Or maybe I should say mistakes and bad things are just coming back to haunt me…. It makes me question whether I’m ever going to get my marriage or my life for that matter heading in the right direction.
Lets start with where I am now. My amazing daughter turns 2 tomorrow. She is amazing. Challenging and trying but amazing. Life is infinitely better with her in it. I am also 25 weeks pregnant with number 2. Although I had no intention of finding out, things happened and I know its a little boy this time. I can’t wait to meet him and see all the new ways in which my life can be enriched. The husband and I are also currently separated. Again. What can I say. No, it wasn’t my choice, no I don’t agree with the decision, no it’s not working out well for me. I work full time, and am pregnant and alone with a two year old. I’m exhausted. ALL. THE. TIME.
I’m writing again because I need to get this out of me. I need somewhere to vent and share it all. Should I really care who is reading it? I spend so much time worrying about everyone else and how they feel and how they’re being affected by things. But where has it really gotten me? I’m hurt, afraid, lonely and scared.
I’m rambling here now. I needed to get one post out of me. Soon, I hope, I’ll sit down and write about what has been happening and the way I feel. But for now, I’ll go to sleep.