I was in a really good place. I hardly ever thought about her or the affair. I made it through a lot of days without thinking about it. Also, it didn’t hurt quite as much.
But now…. its every day. I think about it every day. And it hurts, it hurts just about as much as it did in the beginning. Its awful. I feel like all the progress I made, all the ‘fixing’ I did was for nothing. Like I’m right back where I started. It sucks so much.
My husband is trying so hard. He is being an incredible, hands-on, helpful father and husband. I couldn’t ask for more. He is supportive and understanding. He makes an effort to talk to me and to listen to me. He wants to know whats going on. But I can’t talk to him about this. I can’t tell him just how much its getting to me. I can’t tell anyone just how much its getting me down.