My husband gets back later tonight from his trip. It was successful and I am so glad. That is a huge worry that I can now let go!
He sent me a message from the airport to tell me that his flight was delayed and he’d be back later. I sent a sad face as a response and his response was ‘Jxx, even when I am home I’m not really there. Its been that way for a long time. So I don’t know why you sent that emo’ All the excitement I had for his homecoming vanished. I ignored this at first because I didn’t want to just send a reply as a reaction. Then eventually he told me that he’d done a lot of thinking while away. My heart plummeted because my first thought was ‘he’s going to leave me.’ Some faith I have going on, huh?
Needless to say I got the wrong end of the stick about all of it. He’d had a chance to do some soul searching. He told me that I didn’t deserve to have anyone treat me the way he’s been treating me and how sorry he is. He told me he wants me to be myself and now be worried about what I say around him and that I should be the person I was before he polluted my mind with hatred, sadness and regret. He also said he wan’t sure how we got to this place. I really hope this is real and that it lasts. I hope we finally get to see an upswing in our relationship.
He also told me that I must remember that he will never run out on his kid. Funny he should say that. Despite everything we have been through I have never doubted that he will be a good father. Which includes not abandoning his child. But it was still nice to hear.