Am I being punished?

Published August 4, 2012 by recover3

My cat has gone missing. Again. I’ve been out looking for him everywhere. Absolutely no sign of him. I love my cat, he’s such a wonderful cat. My other cat is beside herself that he’s gone. She hasn’t stopped crying since she alerted me to the fact that he was gone.

My husband chose alcohol over me. Again. I’m heartbroken. Again. He called me by my maiden name. I fight with people all the time to use my married name and now I find out that my own husband doesn’t even think of me that way. He told me everything is my fault. He was nasty and horrible to me and accused me of assuming things that I wasn’t even assuming. He can’t see what is wrong with making plans to go somewhere with two girls from work. It just goes to show he has absolutely no boundaries in place to prevent an affair happening again. He thinks telling me he won’t and telling others he’s married is enough. Doesn’t he realise the whore knew he was married last time? And by his theory then basically before the whore he was planning an affair because now he’s not.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I prayed to God to give us a baby when the time was right. He’s given us one now. I don’t believe He would be telling me to leave at this time. I don’t see how that would be the right time for a baby. I don’t know how much more of this I can go through. Why am I not enough?

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2 comments on “Am I being punished?

  • Your husband is still very deep in the wayward spouse mindset and he is emotionally abusive to you.

    Have you read Not “just Friends” by Shirley Glass? If not, get it, read it.

    Him going out with women?? He knows it’s wrong, he knows it’s aboudary crossed, he just doesn’t CARE. He knows you won’t do anything about it. So, are you going to continue to accept the behavior or not?

    I would practice the 180 at tihs point. http://afterthebetrayal.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=41&sid=23355a4a3441b96a3752e38a186db7c6

    • I have not made any decisions yet. I am still upset with him.
      He has since told me that the trip with the two girls was a work trip, during the day. He works in a hotel and has just been promoted. They needed to go for training at one of the bigger hotels. That is understandable but I told him that he should have started with that. He said of course its not acceptable for him to go somewhere socially with them.
      He also said he needs to accept the fact that he has a problem with alcohol. He said he wants to stop drinking but he can’t follow through with the decision. He said he needs help. That’s the first time he’s admitted he needs help with his drinking.
      I’m not telling you this to make excuses for him – just to give you the latest information.

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