I am a worrier by nature. It has a positive and a negative side to it. It makes me organised and prepared for things. It makes me come up with solutions so I can deal with things. But it also makes me stress out over things that may never happen and also things that I can’t control. Sometimes it consumes me and it feels like my life is a never ending ball of stress. I feel like that at the moment.
I want to unwind and have a carefree day. A day in which nothing ‘bad’ happens. It would involve love and laughter. Friendship and caring. There would be nothing negative, no arguments, silences or anyone being wrapped up in their own world. No wondering if I said the wrong thing or if I’m going to say the wrong thing. A day of excitement. Actually, it doesn’t even have to be excitement. I just want my husband to smile in pleasure at seeing me, tell me I’m beautiful and just sit and enjoy me.
I don’t know if I can ever give up on him. I know there is an incredible person in there. I’ve seen him.