Disconnected

Published June 18, 2012 by recover3

I miss my husband. Its like we are two strangers who are just passing each other by. There is no intimacy, no laughter, no time spent together. The mornings are useless. Either one of doesn’t have to work so we’re sleeping in or we’re both rushing around getting ready to go to work. We hardly seem to be at home at the same time in the afternoon. The evenings are the same. I’m tired so I go to bed, he doesn’t come to bed til long after I’ve gone to sleep. When we are both still awake, one or both of us are sitting on our computers or watching a show or playing the guitar. 

I feel like he’s avoiding me. He’s so terrified that he won’t do a good job at being a father or that he’ll do something wrong that he just stays away from me. He’s so closed off to me that its like he’s abandoned me and left already. 

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix it. What he did to the cat was wrong and it was horrible. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to do that to his child. I know that I piss him off more than anything or anyone and he’s never hurt me. Why would he think he could do that to his child? I wish he could see that and stop punishing himself. Because its like he’s punishing me. 

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5 comments on “Disconnected

    • Honestly I find this hard to answer because my instinct is to defend him. So I’ll try not to. The cat ‘talks’ a lot and sometimes she can be relentless. He got irritated and shoved her to get her to stop. Unfortunately he didn’t realise the wall was right there and she hit her face. He immediately took her to the vet but she was fine. I know reading this you will be horrified – just as I was. He’s was genuinely sorry and hasn’t done anything like it again. I wouldn’t let him stay here with the cats if that is what he is going to do.

      • It is most definitely an anger issue! And I completely agree that he needs to work on it. We are trying to find a way for him to start therapy but being in a country where we don’t really speak the language is a little difficult. But I’m not giving up trying.

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