I miss my husband. Its like we are two strangers who are just passing each other by. There is no intimacy, no laughter, no time spent together. The mornings are useless. Either one of doesn’t have to work so we’re sleeping in or we’re both rushing around getting ready to go to work. We hardly seem to be at home at the same time in the afternoon. The evenings are the same. I’m tired so I go to bed, he doesn’t come to bed til long after I’ve gone to sleep. When we are both still awake, one or both of us are sitting on our computers or watching a show or playing the guitar.
I feel like he’s avoiding me. He’s so terrified that he won’t do a good job at being a father or that he’ll do something wrong that he just stays away from me. He’s so closed off to me that its like he’s abandoned me and left already.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix it. What he did to the cat was wrong and it was horrible. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to do that to his child. I know that I piss him off more than anything or anyone and he’s never hurt me. Why would he think he could do that to his child? I wish he could see that and stop punishing himself. Because its like he’s punishing me.