Its my birthday tomorrow. I’ve always loved my birthday. But I am about as unexcited as I could ever be for it. Last year I wasn’t overly excited because 1 – I was a little paranoid about turning 28 (there is an explanation for this, comment if you’d like to know) and 2 – my husband had just dropped a HUGE bombshell on me a few days before. But my day turned out to be wonderful. My husband made an extreme effort and he turned it into an amazing day.
This year, I have to work. That sucks for starters. Most of my students don’t know its my birthday so there’ll be no excitement in that department. I don’t have an issue turning 29. The worries from last year are gone. I think this pregnancy may also be making me feel a bit blah.
I have my 12 week scan next week. I’m terrified for it. I just can’t let go of the feeling that something is wrong. Its like this is all too good to be true. Like even after everything I’ve been through I still don’t deserve the happiness. I’m praying hard though. I know its all in God’s hands.