Neverending

Published May 7, 2012 by recover3

I have a hard time with my husband going out without me. And I don’t think its unreasonable of me to feel this way. He had an affair and then lied about it for two years. It hasn’t even been a year since I found out. He doesn’t see it this way. He thinks I’m unreasonable and controlling. 

On Friday I finally relented, mostly because he’d upset me and I wanted to be alone to think things through. He went to meet some of my colleagues. Before he left I asked (not told!) him to please not only come home at 5am. He knew this was me asking him to actually come home at a reasonable time. But once again he decided it was better to push the limits and he came home just before 4am. This upset me and he claimed he couldn’t understand why. It led to a weekend of fighting. 

I went to work today to find out that he’d gone to my colleagues and told them I’d given him a curfew. He knows how sensitive I am about being judged by people who don’t know our circumstances and yet he went and made me look like the nagging wife anyway. I tried to reasonable talk to him about it now – no raised voices, no blame, nothing. But he still reacted and told me he was hoping for just one day in which I didn’t tell him what he was doing wrong. 

My soul is a little crushed. First its like I can’t go to him and talk. I have no safe zone. Secondly, doesn’t he realise that I’d like one of those days too. 

Sadly, its going to be just another disastrous day. How fun my life is. 

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