On my birthday I asked him to move back. I was tired of being alone now and if we were going to make this work it had to be under one roof and not two. Plus, I didn’t feel some of his friends were the best influence at this sensitive juncture. He didn’t understand my jealousy over one particular friend. To clarify – it is a male friend. And they shared an apartment while we were separated. I really like the guy – we got on well so it had nothing to do with that. But my husband didn’t get it. He didn’t get the fact that this particular friend was a representation of what I’d been going through. This friend basically replaced me. When someone phoned to invite my husband out instead of saying ‘let me just check with my wife’ he say ‘let me just check with my friend’. His friend came first with everything – he was always consulted, his advice was sought, his opinions. All the things that I used to do. I tried to explain to him one day but all I got was ‘get over it.’ I also felt that if this particular friend hadn’t been so much in the picture that my husband would have realised a lot sooner what he was losing with me. But instead he was looking at the fun his single friend was having and joining in. Of course this ended up leading to a lot of fights. Me being resentful of being left out and him trying to run away and also put his friend first even more. To this day, he doesn’t get where my jealousy comes from. I think it is going to forever be a sensitive issue in our relationship. I just want him to understand where I am coming from on it and put me first, when this friend is present. If he can just do that, then I know its ok and I can put the jealousy behind me. I need to be put ahead of him just once to ease my conscience. So I know my husband doesn’t regret his choice to come back.
He told me he’d do whatever it takes to make us work. Some days I think I missed the fine print in that statement.