Today I’m wondering if the hurt is ever going to go away. If its ever going to change…
Back to the story. We spoke about starting a family. I even came off my birth control. It was kind of scary but exciting at the same time. I thought we’d left all the rubbish behind us. But somehow things started to take a downward turn. We started fighting a lot and he was getting frustrated by the restrictions placed on him. I thought our trip home for Christmas would improve things. That didn’t happen. Things steadily grew worse over our time there. We arrived back in China in the new year on quite a low note. And then there was a reprieve. Suddenly life started to look up again and we were happy. Little did I know that this was just a cold war.
And then March came along and CRASH. We got into a really stupid fight and he packed his things and moved out. It appeared he’d been planning it the whole day – changed his facebook from being married to me and things like that. The fight was just the excuse he was looking for. I was absolutely devastated. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I kept begging him to just stop and listen to me but he was adamant that he was going.
I was humiliated. Here I was in a foreign country, working with people I hardly knew, and my husband had just walked out on me. This was just the first of many humiliations I was going to face over the next few months.