Off to China

Published December 29, 2011 by recover3

Preparations were under way for China. Including putting some rules in place for our relationship. The first was he deleted all forms of communication with her. He had already deleted her from any public social networks earlier. The next step was that he deleted any other people that he’d even vaguely had improper dealings with or anyone I felt uncomfortable with him having contact with. All of this was done with no arguments. The last one was that he agreed that he would never go out without me. At least until I felt like semblance of trust was coming back.

This was all easy on paper and of course it made sense to us. But to other people – they just thought I was a controlling bitch. Of course this upset me more because the label was so unfair. They didn’t know the whole story or why I was that way. But he was trying to make amends and I was trying to recover. We didn’t explain ourselves to anyone. So to the outside world he looked like the great husband who went out of his way for his wife. And I looked like the ungrateful wife who didn’t appreciate all these ‘amazing’ things my husband was doing for me.

We made it through that I guess. The first say, nine months were actually pretty good. Of course we were adjusting to a new country but overall we were doing well. BUT we all know that restrictions placed on a not entirely willing person who is still suffering from guilt is just going to end in disaster. And boy, was it a disaster…

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