I’m not going to go into all the sordid details of my entire relationship. Rather I’ll start at a time just before we got married.
We had just moved in together for financial reasons. I was teaching at a private high school and he had just started a new job. Things were going pretty well for us. Unfortunately it was a really small town and news travels fast. One of my students came to me one day and told me that she’d seen him hanging out with this girl from the public high school. She had a part time job near where he worked. My student told me she had a reputation for going after other girls guys. I noticed them smoking together and didn’t think too much of it. Then it annoyed me. I told him that she was an irritation in my life and that she had a reputation. I asked him to stay away and he told me he would. Only he didn’t. He continued to nurture the ‘friendship’. At this point nothing beyond a friendship and a shared passion for art and writing was going on.
Experts will tell you that affairs often take place because the jilted spouse isn’t giving the guilty spouse something they were looking for. So they bond with someone else and this eventually turns into an affair. Now in my case I refuse point blank to accept this kind of responsibility. The reason being that I tried all the time to show interest in his writing and his art. But he just refused to share any of it with me, in any way. But he shared it with her.
Things came to head one day when I found out he’d been to her house to see some of her art. A lot of people were commenting that they hung out a lot. I can’t remember if this was just before or just after we’d gotten married. I was irate. I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn’t want him to be friends with her, that I didn’t want him to even talk to her. He told me that he would stop. I believed him. At this point in time, I had no reason not to.